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Music Mughals 2007

Bollywood Music has just left me drained completely. This has been a year where I got variety , versatility and above all, quality music that transcends all definitions and spans across all possible genres from Qawwali to Rock to Jazz to Blues to even Hindustani Classical. This has been a year which has excelled all of my expectations, mostly in the later part of the year with the kicking in of the major blockbusters accompanied by their equally explosive soundtracks. It has been quite a journey for me listing out these gems and in no way I can accurately opt for the winners, but then, some are more equal than the others.

So the Nominees are:-

A.R. Rahman – GURU

From the Arabic belly dancing ritual number, Mayya Mayya, to the very Folk –Barso Re Megha, the signature Rahman sound in Tere Bina , the heart melting Hairat-e-Aashiqui which transforms into a Scottish Pipers song and then back to a Ghazal, and to top it all, a Soul Stirring choir singing in unison – Jaage Hai Der Tak Humein….GURU had it all. Bow down Mister, to the current GURU of Music.

Pritam – Life in a Metro

This is Bollywood makeover into the Rock image. And by Rock, it’s like \m/ ROCK accompanied with a “Hell Yeah”. Be it Alvida in its two avatars from KK and James, O Meri Jaan with the wild drumming, and the heart wrenching falsetto, or the extremely intoxicating and addictive In Dino which still continues to be on my playlist, Metro’s soundtrack didn’t feature a single star track, instead it’s a constellation out here.

Sajid Wajid –Partner.

If Metro brought Rock in, Partner brought the house down with Hip Hop, desi style. Thanks to the onscreen chemistry between the lead pair-Govinda and Salman, and to the immensely catchy tracks- Soni De Nakhre and My Love. Partner has to feature on this list. Who doesn’t want some breaks in between? Gaddee Po Po Po......

Shankar Ehsaan Loy –Taare Zameen Par

I swear I didn’t appreciate this soundtrack before watching the movie. After having watched the movie now, I listen to the songs in a very different light. It has definitely grown on me, and there is no doubt that this is by far Shankar,Ehsaan and Loy’s best work since Dil Chahta Hai. My favorite track here – Kholo Kholo and the Adnan Sami track- Mera Jahan accompanied by the sweet chorus from the children choir.

Shantanu Moitra – Khoya Khoya Chand

No one knows Jazz, Blues and Rock n’ Roll better in Bollywood than Shantanu Moitra. If anyone does know better, no one knows how to implement it in Bollywood music more perfectly than Mr.Moitra. He did it with Parineeta’s “ Kaisi Paheli”. And he does it again in a bigger and a better way in Khoya Khoya Chand’s “ Ye Nigaahein” and “Khusboo Sa”. He even reminds us of “Mann Ye Baawra” with his Qawwali rendition of “Khoya Khoya Chand” and gives Sonu Nigam, the biggest space to explore his vocals in “O Re Paakhi”.

Vishal Shekhar – Om Shanti Om

Any music which can elevate the presence of Deepika Padukone onscreen is definitely worth mention. Ajab Si ruled the charts but my personal favorite here is “Main Agar Kahoon”. The clubs dug Dard-e-Disco and well, Deewangi Deewangi proved out to be the ITEM NUMBER of the year. More than a hundred reasons to be nominated.


Narrowing it down to one winner this year is just next to impossible. And so, the Best Music of the Year goes to Shantanu Moitra – Khoya Khoya Chand and Pritam for Life in a Metro. Whom did you find to be this year’s Music Mughals?


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The Bollywood Razzies

As 2007 comes to an end, its time to roll out the red carpets, open the envelopes and beat the pulp out of those movies that kept on coming back to you and haunted you this year and made you shiver with disgust at the most odd years of the day/night.These movies go down in history of this list as the Bollywood Razzies, aka the Worst Movies of the Years as well as Performances. It is no easy job to make it to this list. You need to be utterly creative in some way, as in if you actually intended to make a tragedy, you ensure it looks like Mr.Bean’s Holiday. And if the original script pitched plans of a comedy, the end product should make all of the crew weep. Now that’s what we call (F)ART. Only few movies have been able to qualify for the coveted “award” this year, and choosing the righteous winner among them has been a tiring effort for me. It has taken me sleepless nights, intense hours of soul searching and some barrels of Budweisers to arrive at the “Winners”. So here we go.

Breakthrough Performance of the Year Male:-


The Shaved and Waxed chest, a Peek at what’s behind the Diesel Cap, The Nasal takes a big leap beyond the lands of Narnia, and well, He finally smiles. Ladies and Gentlemen, bow to his Majesty, Himessssss….Surooooor….Reshammiya. A Star is Born? Ahem Ahem! Sorry, I just choked on me words.

Fighting for the Throne:-
Dil Dosti Etc.Immad Shah’s “impotent” portrayal of a DU-ite in , which included dialogues like Safed Jheel, sharing the screen with Shreyas Talpade and Smriti Mishra ( as the saggy bellied Delhi hooker), and still manage to screw it all up. Man, so close to win the award.
Saawariya.Ranbir Kapoor does a “topless” Mere Khwabo Main Jo Aaye. A Breakthrough in Indian cinema nevertheless.
RGV ki Aag.Amitabh Bachhan butchers, screws the immortal spirit of Gabbar, Babban style in RGV way. Thou shall face the wrath of Gabbar one day.
The Deols flexing their “Dolles” in Apne, if that counts as one.
Salman Khan whisphers to Ali Larter in “purrfect” accent- Marigold is whack!!
Upen Patel- Shakalaka Boom Boom. ROTFL. I don’t have any idea what was I going to say about this one.


Breakthrough Performance of the Year Female:-

Nishabd:Jia Khan, ahem! actually her left leg. Ramu loves her left leg the most. More than her right leg. If Ramu has some sort of affinity towards her left leg, how could we be left behind. Jia’s left leg from 12 ft, from 6 ft, and from 6ft under. Now that’s breakthrough lensing, I guess. Wait, where’s the performance. Aah! I remember the trailer, where she says “ I think I am having feelings for you”. You do?

Fighting for the Throne:-
The team of Lara and Priety in Shaad Ali’s Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. Actually I cannot comment much on these ladies, coz I walked out of the audi in 10 mins flat.
Laga Chunri Main Daag:“Hi, I’m Natasha”. No you are Rani. WTF are you doing? You are supposed to be good and not replay Mumtaz’s Shalini Shastri (Aaina- 1977) in the flavour of the 1970s. God, YashRaj Films, dekho Bubli ka Kya bana diya.
Aami Monjulikaa—That’s breakthrough. For the one’s still confused” Hare Raam Hare Raam”
Honeymoon Travels:The entire bunch of mad ladies- Ssilpaa shouting to a leather jacket long haired Rampal- Jignessssss, Minissha Lamba to Abhay Deol in a speedo suit- Aspi----Zaaara,..and Raima Sen showing some Matrix moves in a Sari. Indian cinema hasn’t seen anything like this before, for sure.

Okay, I guess, since I have been talking of ensemble casts as performances, I shall have a separate award for it. What the heck!

THE GANG BANG (in a very vegetarian way):-



Big B as Babban, Devgan as Jai or is it Veeru, that guy as Veeru/Jay, Nisha Kothari as Ghungru, Sushmita Sen as the flat faced widow, Mohanlal Anna as Thakur and RGV as the tormentor. This is RamGopal Ver”Ma” ki Aag.

Dus Kahaaniyan- The list is like Bollywood’s B List, plus the honchos of Indian “meaningful” cinema . It unites India’s finest actors Naseeruddin Shah and Shabana Azmi after …( when was the last time I saw them sharing screen space?)..I donno when. It even boasts of 6 directors from Rohit Roy to Meghna Gulzar to Sanjay Gupta to Apoorva Lakhia. This is just hoch poch at best.
Buddha Mar Gaya. Just have a look at the list of the people involved here.
Anupam Kher, Om Puri,Ranbir Shourie and guess who’s next-Rakhi Sawant. LOL
Salaam-e-Ishq tries to recreate Richard Curtis’ “Love Actually” in a marathon love epic saga which might even give Devki Nandan Khatri (of Chandrakanta fame) to shame. The chandeliers were more polished, the choreography more Bhangra and more Lehengas and more Sherwanis , and the emotions ..aah…exhausting with Kailash Kher’s Ya Rabba playing on a loop. (Nikhil) Advani jee didn’t have Mr.Johar to tell him where to stop.
Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. Yep. I guess Shaad Ali was high, Abhishek Bachhan was stoned, and Bobby Deol was busy watching Apne’s Moser Baer DVD. Oh wait, Big B in El Capitano Jack Sparrow’s avatar in Paris. Now, what did I smoke?


PUT THE PARSLEYS ON:-

Cacophonix de Honors:- Himesssss. Undisputed Heavyweight King of the Bantamweight Auto-rickshaw Drivers Music Club. “Hits” include—Jhoot Naaee Bolna, Assalaam Walekkum and the constipated Tanhhaaaiiiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Fighting for the Throne:-
Shakalaka laka laka laka laka laka laka Shakalaka Boom Boom
Rafta Rafta Dekho Dekho Pyaar Ho Gaya Raftaa Dekho Raftaa
Tadap Tadap Tadap Ho Tummmmmmmmmmmmm….
Ae Taambe Tu Kaun Si Maut Marega Re.
Jhoom Barabar Jhoom – the Retro Funk Lethal Attack v16.7 mix. WTF.


Tortueux de FILME’:-

And the “honor” goes to RGV ki Aag.This movie left me sleepless for nights together. If you want to read my heartfelt appreciation of the movie, you can read it here. But it has been quite a journey for the entire crew (must be). It must have taken them quite a few cleansing sessions at the Ayurveda clinics in Kerala, and of course a Ganga Snaan too. But lemme tell you, that shouldn’t be enough to rid you of the sins you all have committed to have tormented all of us with the 70mm of torture. In the words of the great Chandler Bing “Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I just—I didn't know what it was!” RGV just deserves this and may be a Public Abuse Session as well. That should serve as a clinical session for his mental disturbance. C’mon, he couldn’t have made this movie if he was sane or in his complete senses.

Fighting for the Throne:-
Aaah. Not a very Long List here. Coz it actually takes a lot to match the genius of RGV ki Aag. Nevertheless, it’s here.

The Blue Film of the year- Bhansali’s Saawariya.
Dil Dosti Excreta, I mean Etc.
J-BJ. That’s Jhoom Barabar Jhoom.
Nikhil Advani’s tribute to Yashraj’s entire filmography in a single film- Salaam-e-Ishq.
Himmesss flirting around 16 year old Hansika and manages to escape pedophile charges. Actually, the lady gets swept off her feet by the waxed chest and…you know what, I’m tired of the nasal jokes. But when it comes to Himess, what else can you think of?

Aah. I'm done finally. Where's my Bud?


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Yamaha Roxx . .NOT


Okay, here I go again. Yet another review of another rock show. I know, I didn’t review Campus Rock Idols, which I should have, but I was lazy then, and well am lazy now too. But somehow, I feel like writing today, so I’m just gonna write it down.
Thanks to my friend Dipayan, and my knowledge of shortcut roads,I reached the venue, Elysium Lawns at 5:15 pm , the first wrong thing to do for any Yamaha Roxx event. They are bloody always late. Had to somehow survive through the entire painful course of noisy soundchecks and cacophonic distortions which they claim to be METAL ..yeah!!! I mean c’mon, who the fuck are you kidding? Management and arrangements were all over the place and it started to get on my nerves, which eventually resulted in a feeling of repulsion creeping in my mind. As a result of which, this review might not sound pretty positive. What the fuck! Where are the so called Pune rockers? This place is as dead as a morgue could be. I waited so long just because my pal , Rishi and his band, Silver were playing.

Okay, so soundchecks over. The bands started to roll in, and so let’s deal with them one by one. Shall we?
First up, ”Afterschool Blues”. Does seem like a school band. First thing, no bassist, so the rhythm section is all falling flat. The guitars are too loud, and too distorted. The vocalist is a girl, which has its advantages, but only when she can SING. In this case, she cannot. The self-titled original composition is set on a very low scale for the singer’s vocal range and is hardly audible. First act, no points from me. The riff though is catchy. But hey! You can’t build a whole song on one riff. Please complete it. And the bass replica from the keyboards, doesn’t work for me at all. Sorry!! Second song, RHCP’s Dani California. Singer in trouble again. Plain simple Karaoke stuff . It’s just the melody of the original song which keeps me listening to it. Hersh on the guitars was good , but I think , the tone should have been a sharper one for this song. Afterschool Blues,according to me, should get some proper schooling as far as the vocals and the “putting together act “ is concerned.

Next band: Dropout Society. Now, I’m not much into the knee length shorts, loose fit T-shirts, and the bass hanging below the knee kinda music they popularly consider as punk. Punk to me is Green Day. Punk to me is Fat Lip by Sum 41, and it is definitely not some riff rehashed and mashed from “All the Small things” by Blink 182. Dropout Society, whatever they played, seemed right out of some random punk formula, bringing in the extra drumming and the jumping around, but with a weird distortion yet again. Just can’t remember what songs they had for their set, and after it was over, it was out of my mind, forever. I guess they had some words like-Just like before. No idea whatsoever. Next.

Third band: Relapse. No offense, the lead singer is kkheeeeyuuuut. Hope she doesn’t smoke. I have this thing against smokers. They have bad breathe and well, black layered teeth. Wouldn’t want that on a gal, would you? Anyway,coming back to Relapse. First song:-Original comp(forgot the title)-Vocals –kicked it, nailed it. Want to recruit her for my band ( if it were ). The guitarist, who was showing off his white JEM, wasn’t the one playing the leads. It was the other guy. It sounded tight. Next song:-Skidrow’s 18 and Life. It’s very hard to fill in the shoes of Sebastian Bach. Surprisingly enough, she did a good job. End of the act, I got to know in the band intro, that the vocalist’s name is Aastha. Relapse-managed to put a decent act just because of the Aastha of Aastha, whatever that meant.

Time for some more bakarch@#$. The announcer who seemed to have headed out straight from the nearby gym, was accompanied by the lady in black. Man, they have some thick skin. Inspite of all the booos and fuck-offs, they try to put on a smile, and the guy keeps on repeating….give them a Big HAND of Applause. WTF!!!
Yeah, airguitaring and that Ray Ban shades. Not worth the 1000 embarrassing scraps in my scrapbook the next day. Moving on, next band, Rigor Mortis- which literally means the permanent contraction of skeletal muscle associated with death. Whaat???? Yeah, one of those unanswered whatevers. Another distorted mayhem sounding awfulness . In the words of Parikrama-Can somebody hear me I’m screaming from so far away? Yeah, screaming, not singing here. I’d bet my arse , no one got a single word of the lyrics. I’d rather not talk about the songs now. Because there aren’t any. Lamb of God cover, I can bet my arse, yet again (confident that I’d not lose my first bet), that the original would definitely sound as thrash metal, and the cover –just trash. And for all those dumb mindfucks in the mindless mosh-pit, wake up, care for your balls , you still have a long way to go to use them. How many of them were actually enjoying the so-called METAL? I really doubt or am I getting old.Fuck no. My friend Abhishek stepped up to the judge, Sheetal (not to be mistaken to a lady, it’s a HE and he plays the guitars in Tungsten, pretty awesome, actually reminds of Paul Gilbert, and his Brown Vested look and curly reminds me of VHS of Santana Live,totally different story hehe!) and he asked him, what do you think about such kind of music? He replied, looking at the mosh-pit, “You can see”.

Aah. Finally, it’s time for Silver to roll. And even before they start to let the cat out of the bag, the crowd knows it that this is what they have been looking forward to. I raise one hand in the air, and I swear Rishi didn’t pay me to write this, and even though he is a friend, this is a very objective and impartial opinion which many would agree. Rishi is the best bassist in PUNE, at least after AFS broke up, and Rushad is …where is he? All of the other band members complement him and this is why it ROCKED. Mahesh on the vocals can sing his lungs out, Savio on the leads can do justice to the Guitar, and Amit on the drums woo hoo. Love it when the double bass doesn’t kick in every now and then. LOL. Soundcheck begins, and it already feels that the judges have found the winner. First song, Feel the Heat. Needless to say, the crowd loved it, and so did I. First real act, original and kicking some real buttocks. Yeah, had some really minute glitches in between, but all marks for the entire act. Second song: Van Halen’s Ain’t talking about Love. Woo hoo. As Rishi promised, this was a SURPRISE. Loved it,especially because Mahesh grabbed the vocal chords and zoomed through it. Silver WINS WINS WINS. The go to Delhi for the National Finals. Btw, this event happened in Pune, for all those people who do not have any clue whatsoever.

Didn’t matter which band came next. What was it called? Talli. Forgettable original , and it disturbs me when every other singer tries to either growl or become an Eddie Vader clone. This is the point where I move out, and as I did so, I could hear SOAD’s Chop Suey being played. Turned a deaf ear and I vroomed on to Soul to have my Chicken Classic Soup to cleanse myself from all the bloody noisy shit I had been subjected to for the last couple of hours. Heard someone play Eric Clapton-ish Blues cum Jazz in Shisha. Thanked God , that I had finally some MUSIC to end the day. Amen!

P.S.Rishi, I accept cheques as well as cards for the pics.
P.S.2:- Coming soon, a brief history of Brute Force, to be out soon here. Till then, watch this space.
Pics Courtesy: My Motorazr V3i.
Another unanswered question.Why does nobody cover Aerosmith,Queen or GNR?


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GNR Image Quiz

The previous image quiz on Metallica was fun. Most of them complained that it was too easy. Still some of them mistook Master of Puppets to Turn the Page(shocking, I know). Most of them couldn't get the last one. Check the comments for the correct answers. Anyway, moving on, here I have compiled the GNR Image Quiz. This time no hints.Just straight images. Guess the song. As simple as that.

1.Quite a simple one to start with.


2.


3.


4.


5.


6.


7.To end with.


Post your answers in the comments, or in the orkut forums where I post the quiz link. Till next time, rock on.


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Metallica Image Quiz

Here's a collection of flickr images that I have tried to combine which reflect the spirit and the Metchal of METALLICA.
I shall just give a hint to the song that is being represented by the picture. Find the answer in the Comments , in a week .Am expecting the answers in the comments.Have a blast!!!!
Rock on \m/
To start with..a simple one:
Song 1:


Hint: Death in the air
Strapped in the electric chair

Song 2:

Hint: Life it seems to....

Song 3:

Hint: No locked doors, no windows barred


Song 4:

Hint: Do you need one? If you do need a hint, you shouldn't be taking this quiz.


Song 5:


Hint:Blinded by me, you cant see a thing


To end with Song 6:

Hint: Try getting it without the Hint.


P.S. Please don't google for the lyrics. What's the point c'mon!!!


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Prison Break s03.The story so far.

prison_break_3.jpg
It is one of the most watched TV series not only in the US, but across the world. For the uninitiated, Prison Break revolves around the exploits of Michael Scoffield and his brother Lincoln Burrows, and their constant efforts to get back to a normal life. While Season 1 was about Michael attempting to break out of Fox River with Lincoln, Season 2 was devoted entirely to the manhunt and this introduced us to one of the best characters of Prison Break, FBI agent,Alex Mahone. Season 3 premiered on Sep,17,2007 in the US and after airing 8 episodes, the show has now gone on a hiatus. So what new have we seen in Season 3. Read on to know more.


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When Joey meets Chandler

barney00
Meet Barney Stinson,if you haven't so far ie. And if you haven't, you poor thing, you have missed on a very LEGENDARY thing. He is the perfect womanizer ( inherited from Joey) and has the best lines of the lot( as in Chandler), in the show "How I Met Your Mother". So, even though the series protagonist is Ted Mosby, Barney remains the most favorite character on the show. Played by Doogie Howser kiddo (not any more),Neil Patrick Harris, Barney has some of the brilliantly written lines ever, more famous to fans as Barneyisms. Wanna some taste of it?

"You broke up with a porn star? Friendship over. Friendship over!"

"Phone Five!"

"one of the similarities between girls and fish... they are both attracted to shiney objects."

"There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast...implants"

The list is endless and it gets funnier, exponentially. If you loved the "how you doin' of Joey and the closing lines of Chandler, you'll definitely love Barney.Suit UP!!Catch him on How I met your Mother.


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New Blogger Layout


I was kinda bored with the previous blogger layout on this blog. So this morning when I woke up, I just thought to myself, why not get a new template to myself. I know, once you start thinking that, you start questioning which is the best template and where do I find it? There are a zillion of Blogger templates available everywhere across so many websites, and one of the best ones is the library of all thing web2.0, and that's Mashable. It's got a wonderful library of Web 2.0 2 and 3 column blogger templates all for free. But the list didn't do much for me. So went ahead and looked for more, until I found this Blogger Template which I'm using on a site called freshbloggertemplates.blogspot.com/
This Template can be downloaded from this link.I hope you like the profile change that I have done.The greatest thing I like about the entire layout change is the amount of writing space I have now. It's much better and larger than the previous one. Well, the previous one was similar to my Techkeyla blog layout.

Image Courtesy:http://blogger-templates.blogspot.com/


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Life is sometimes Funny enough

Check this out


And well this one too...!!


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Lord of the Rings:Extra Squeezed

The name says it all. Watch this!


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F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Moments-1

This is one of many many to follow. Why? Because, like millions across the world, I am juts another huge Friends Addict. This one's from TOW Phoebe's Uterus.


Monica: (to Chandler) So, did you do it?

Chandler: Yes, yes, we had the sex.

Monica: Uh-oh, it was bad?

Chandler: It was fine, y’know? But she didn’t agree with me as strongly as she agreed with Joey. She was more like, "I see you point, I’m all right with it."

Monica: Well, it was the first time. Y’know, there’s not always a lot of agreement the first time.

Rachel: Yeah, not girls anyway, guys agree (snaps her fingers) like that.

Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, y’know, I know where everything goes, it’s always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebody’s killing her in there!"

Monica: All right, I’m gonna show you something a lot of guys don’t know. Rach, give me that pad, please? (She does so and Monica starts drawing on it) All right. Now…

Chandler: Look, you don’t have to draw an actual wo—whoa! She’s hot!

Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out there’s more than three), five, six, and seven!

Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?!

Rachel: Let me see that. (Monica shows her) Oh, yeah.

Chandler: (Points to one) That’s one?

Monica: It’s kind of an important one!

Chandler: Oh, y’know-y’know what, I was looking at it upside down.

Rachel: Well, y’know, sometimes that helps. (She realises what that could’ve meant.)

Monica: (continuing) Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set up camp.

Chandler: That-that’s bad?

Rachel: Well if you go to Disneyland, you don’t spend the whole day on the Materhorn.

Chandler: Well you might if it were anything like 7!



Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit ‘em all, and you mix ‘em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.

Rachel: Oo, toes!! Well, for some people. (Chandler eyes her and her toes.)

Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, …7..…7…7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7…(mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)


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Shoot the Load


I wanted this post to be on my other movie blog. And then I decided not to. Just because I wanted to add so much adult content into this blog that it'd make all my readers (who are very conservative by nature, I know them coz they are just a bunchful who just can't take jokes having the word 'sperm')feel offended and consequently lose my reader(s) base. So here I am writing it here on a blog with an adult name(One Knight Stands, c'mon it is at least PG13). So wtf!!!! I have been writing a long long intro for this ,and what is it all about? This is the official slaughter, the public 'vastraharan' of a movie which stars all my favorite actors and Monica Belucci(she ain't an actress, c'mon her boobs are real).I'm talking about this movie called Shoot 'em Up starring Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti. I walked in the theater a bit late actually 5 mins after the movie started. So, I really did not get enough time to settle down at ease. Add to that I hit someone's knee in the dark (Thank God I didn't squeeze someone's groin, that's happened to me but its forgiven). There I was, had just rested my ass on the seat , totaly clueless what the f was happening. Clive Owen leathered up in black with Guns and talking more with the barrel and Bam Bam Bam! There's this pregnant lady whom he's trying to save. And hey there's Paul with his leather gang and Uzis and Mp5s fly around, and Mr.Clive Owen does the avahan of the Rajnikanth avatar. He flies, he rolls, he slides on grease and his leather jacket manages to get ...wait for it...no spots at all. Was it leather or Teflon? And then the climax of the first of many action sequences that were to unfold. Mr.Clive shoots at the Neon sign on the roof, to spell
"F U K..... U". Paul replies "F U K.. U... T O O". Now that's original right! And did you know the best thing? All this while Mr.Clive had a newborn baby in his front pocket of his leather jacket.Sab Prabhu ki Maya hai.

Don't worry about the story. There's a lot of Monica Darling ,if you know what I mean. I am going for the Unrated DVD version. Coz, the local theater here edited the essential portions.And yeah one action sequence involves Mr.Clive(ok, here on I'll call him Smith, coz that's the supposed name of the Top Secret Character he plays) and Monica darling making "Love" and Mr.Smith rolls over and notices danger and shoots his load( in both ways). Accompanied by his awesome witty lines and a Karamchand-isque carrot chewing(He even has the famous Bugs Bunny dialogue). Paul Giamatti is deprived of the good lines it seems and is seen to be tormented by a naggy wife. The frustration can be seen in the sexual tension he oozes out on poor Monica darling's spotless thighs. And yeah, when Smith again manages to fuck him over, what does he say...here's the dialogue of the movie..referring to Paul's previous movie-" Fuck me Sideways". That's brilliant mate!

And yeah the stunts are top notch. It involves poking of carrots to the eyes, shooting on the bars of a merry go round to make it revolve round and round, using ropes to manipulate guns in a gun warehouse, u make up the rest. I bet you'd be damn close as the director.
And just when I thought I had seen it all in a movie, Shoot em' Up suprised me with the climax. Smith shoots Paul in the heart, ejected his lump of flesh and the camera rolls down from his shoulders to his waist, and there is a hole from which I can see his heart beating and Mr.Smith is standing on the other side. Woo Hoo. I love this movie.............NOT.


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Live Storms Review


I will not say the names of the sponsors coz they aren't paying me to write this. Let's just say it was at KP, near FRTDS and was sponsored by ST. I went in at around 7:20 pm and Trees on Fire were almost at their climax. Darn! And I could see Chris , the guitarist of Strange Brew by the bar.

Strange Brew( Adbhut Paey, I just tried to add some humor content to begin with, I know it fell flat on the face)- One of Indian Rock scene's veteran rock bands. I have probably seen them the most number of times live than any other band-Indian or International, or is it Vayu?( The only International Concert I have been to is the Aerosmith concert @ Bangy and that kicked ass. Okay, I do get drifted away sometime , but well, its my Blog.).Coming back to Strange Brew. Chris is an awesome guitarist. My friend(Rishi, the bassist from Silver) says , that Strange Brew had judged him(I mean his ex band-Carnage) at IIT KGP-Springfest.The thing about being so experienced is well, you can see it onstage. The entire band chemistry, the correct timing between the drummer and the guitarist, the silly looking smiles in between over mistakes perhaps and the attempts to cover them up efficiently, all of these come to existence only with time, and all the noob bands just don't have it yet.

Whenever there is a Strange Brew Concert, whether its at Soul, or Jazz Gardens, or NJJBTB( you figure that out), there is this perfect blend of classic rock and psychedelic(read FLoyd), and with a tinge of Grunge minus the metchal.But it had been quite long for me since I attended any of their live performances( Pune has been on a hiatus for a while now). Until yesterday, Strange Brew shook the crowd at Soul,KP. The vocalist is now the bassist, coz the bassist left. The playlist was a bit predictable with usual inclusion of yesteryear's rock anthems. F.O. to the O.C.'s . I just laid back and enjoyed them. Van Halen-Jump,Floyd-Coming Back to Life, Doors-Love me Two Times, Pearl Jam-Alive, Deep Purple-Black Knight, Floyd-Comfortably Numb, Led Zepp-Rock n Roll,Bad Company-Can't get Enough, aah the playlist just seems like a Mix Tape of Classic Rock favs.And the thing about the Coming Back to Life Guitar Solo is -I'd listen to it over and over again and never get enough of it.Its so much better than any friggin metal riff (You might have formed the opinion that I m not by any stretch of imagination a metal warrior, lemme tell ya, I swear by Hetfield) You sometime get the best of the best at a single place. Boo you boozers. You should have had Chicken Classic Soup at Soul.(Somehow that sounds familiar to a book). Its heaven for 60 bucks.SLURP.

Anyway,SB ended with their O.C.-No Time.The video is below. The only complaint that I have is-Chris , you can bend your Les Paul and create the most melodic of guitar solos written by the Rolling Stones rulers. Why oh Why, then can't you write some of your own ? I mean the O.C. seems a bit mediocre and a safe kinda catchy sound.(No offense)


UPDATE:QOTD:
Its easy to be a lead singer;its easier to be a music critic.


When Strange Brew exited, it was RLA(Retro Legendary Act)'s turn to take the stage. (I thought the name was Retro League Act, which is way cooler than Legendary). First song, Coming Back to Life. I have seen them live, but from song 1, it just felt that this wasn't their night. The vocalist just cannot put the entire stage act together. The entire stage vibe wasn't at all right. I do respect the lead guitarist( given that RLA is totaly guitar driven and the frontman is actually the guitarist not the vocal guy, and also the guitarist looks like my ex-Proj Manager), but to do Coming back to Life after Chris had just done it on the same stage a few minutes back. Umm..what should I say. Round 1:Score:
Strange Brew:1 : RLA:0

What upset me most was the vocalist was always looking for cues from the guitarist. Looks so amateur. And he even missed out so many of them. For Christ's sake-Mirrors on the ceiling (Hotel..whatever) ..he missed that out.
Firstly,I thought, what the firangs out there would be thinking when they started when RLA started playing Hotel Cal-" Do they still play this song ?"
And when the vocalist missed it out,-"Can't they still play this song?"
I mean, I can wake up in the middle of the night at 4 am , and I can begin with-Mirrors on the ceiling. The guitarist again came to the rescue and well saved the day for RLA(almost) by giving a rumba beat twist to Hotel Cal. I could see Chris observing the guitarist with a grin.LOL. I did enjoy singing along "I want to Break free" coz well QUEEN IS WHAT I WORSHIP, after AEROSMITH and before METALLICA.

A similar grin was noticed when the solo of "Bheegi Bheegi" was played. Talking of Bheegi Bheegi , they played an extended solo version of it. Pritam would be so proud. Highway Star-oh my God, the drummer butchered it. He missed out the pause and hit timing after the Keyboard solo. I felt so offended and I walked out.

Event Rating:
4 on 5 for Strange Brew coz they played Rock n Roll and Coming back to Life
2 on 5 for RLA coz they butchrd Highway Star, Comin back to Life and dragged along Hotel Cal.
Trees on Fire- missd out on you. SORRY! But I heard that the guitarist has a warlock and he plays on a clean tone. Hilarious. (No offense again). I'm sure to make a few enemies after this.

In the words of REM" That's me in the corner(right below)". The guy in the middle is Rishi and I just got cut into halves.

P.S. NO HATE MESSAGES PLEASE. ALL COMMENTS ARE TO BE TAKEN IN THE RIGHT SPIRIT AND ARE NOT PERSONAL OPINIONS OF THE AUTHOR BUT HAVE BEEN EXPRESSED BY HIS SPLIT PERSONALITY EVIL SIDE WHO'S ONLY OPINION ABOUT EVERYTHING IS F.

STRANGE BREW DIDN'T PAY ME TO WRITE THIS REVIEW. THE KEYBOARD GAL FROM RLA IS CUTE AND SHE ACTUALLY PLAYED THE SOLO OF HIGHWAY STAR.

Pics Courtesy: Drummingworld.com

Related Post: Campus Rock 2006 Review


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I tried to sing Grace Kelly

Yeah. I swear I did. I did not sound close to Mika.Not even by a mile. Here's the video I have uploaded on Youtube(what else). I hope you enjoy it. Do comment about it.



Yeah yeah,I know the piano sucks. But all in all, not that bad at all. Bravo Sujoy!! Hehe
For all those who don't really dig this kinda music, there goes a proverb- What will a monkey know about the taste of Ginger!! Go listen to some music yeah!


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MTV killed Music


While millions across the world would disagree with what my headline says, but it is true to a certain extent. Well, technically, music cannot die of course. But yes, a channel which is named Music Television, hardly plays Music anymore. And this is true, not only for its American parent, but also for the other children that it has spawned across the world from Brazil to India to Australia to Russia to Europe. MTV is now more into "Reality Programming" and hardly plays full songs even in its musical shows like TRL. Reality Shows like Pimp My Ride, Jackass et al have taken the prime slot in MTV Programming. Even in MTV India, shows like Roadies and Wear their Skin, MTV Style etc. have become MTV's lineup .

The best thing to happen was , Justin Timberlake's award acceptance speech at this year's MTV VMA.
After snubbing three cute girls from MTV’s The Hills (Lauren Conrad, Audrina Patridge and Whitney Port), who were supposed to present Timberlake with the honors, Justin took the mic from producer Timbaland and said:

Play more damn music videos, MTV.

We don’t want to see… the Simpsons on reality television,

said Timberlake upon accepting the award, referring to MTV darlings Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.
Play more videos
.
Later, when accepting another honor, the Quadruple Threat Award, Justin Timberlake reiterated,
I want to challenge MTV to play more videos!

Seriously MTV play some music.Not Himess .

Gone are the days when this used to happen on VMA


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Britney oh Britney

I know the top two videos roaming around Youtube right now have a common keyword. And that is BRITNEY.
The first one is the one that started it all. The MTV VMA performance. I will not post the Youtube Link, coz well that is against my ethics. So, I'll post the pic instead.LOL




And the second one. Ok here's the clue. Just search Leave Britney Alone on Google and you'll be hit by this massive hurricane of video results of a certain Chris Crocker. I'll leave you with this riot of laughter Youtube Special.



Needless to say, this video even spawned other spoofs on Youtube with titles like:
Chris Crocker's father:Where did I go wrong;
Leave Chris Crocker alone...et al.

The dude has even made an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Leave American Television alone.Hail Youtube.


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Memory Man

Steve Wiltshire commits to memory all the minute details of city Rome from an aerial view and puts it down to paper ,accurately down to the last inch. Do we call him the Memory Man.See it to believe it.


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High Speed Camera Capture

More cool than it sounds.See it to believe it.


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Things that only happen @ the Movies


Okay. I found this on a certain site I can't remember properly. And well, I'm adding my list too into it. I'm sure I'll be back with a v2.0 for this one. For now here we go. Just don't fall from the chair.



Top 10 things that only happen @ the movies.

1. Passionately kissing someone who, until just a second ago, you thought you despised.
2. Losing all 14kg of pregnancy weight in the time it takes to OW-OW-OW-AWWW! birth the baby.
3. People leaping up to stop the wedding.
4. Thirty seconds of passionate sex and then bam! - she has an orgasm.
5. Wearing a bra while having sex.
6. Working as an unpaid intern at a fashion magazine and getting an entire couture wardrobe totally free.
7. Discovering that your cat can talk, your boyfriend can fly or there's an alien living in your toolshed.
8. Inspired, poetic, spontaneous 'I love you' speeches.
9. Day after day of perfect skin and buttery highlights.
10. Tom Cruise, always looking tall.



Additions:
11. The most user friendly UIs on the most high-end state of the art Machines.
12.Virus gets loaded when it shows RED.
13. The Computer shut's down cos Monitor is shot .
14.Your car accelerates faster because you shift a gear up.
15.Buddy cops causing enormous amounts of damage to city (and private) property with no accountability.
16.Enemies are always horrible, horrible shots with their weapons, but you rarely miss.
17.The child wiz-kid cop-out. See Jurassic Park. The famliy is trapped and the security systems are down and password protected. The dinosaurs are closing in. The 8-yr old daughter announces "Wait, this is UNIX! I know this stuff!", then proceeds to fix everything with a few sudden keystrokes.
18.I punch you. You punch me. I punch you. You punch me. It goes back and forth, because neither of us wants to go down. Our. Heads. Are. Made. Of. Fluffy. Pillows.


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11 Posts Later


Yeah so..what is OKS(I hope one day, this should be how it should be known) all about? I have covered a wide range of topics so far. From iPod desires to American TV Series to Ads to Indian Movie cliche and well, some humor thrown here and there. Well, to start with, OKS is about me,and my insanity and my fulfilled and yet to be fulfilled desires. iPod desires and desires for all things Apple are just mentioned here to state the fact that I LOVE APPLE. No,not the fruit ,you moron. This is very different from my other blog Techkeyla where I write about technology and blogs and all that stuff at length.OKS is more about you know the child in me who cries for the moon, only the moon here has a clickwheel or a dynamic touchpad. OKS is my ventilator where I vent out what I like, what I don't like about the world, about Television, about my day, about the night when I don't sleep, with all the philosophical content being dumped into the trash bin. So, while you might find my blog Tathastu has some philosophical content, and well glimpses of me reflecting on my past in some form of poetry (yeah,right...some form..you be the judge), OKS doesn't have that. It is all straight in your face and all out there. Peace. I'd soon start a new humor section here which would be shockingly,serious. LOL.
Hope you enjoy reading me BLOG.

P.S. OKS stands for One Knight Stands.


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